I am a December baby...like my birthday is 2 days after Christmas day. Not having anyone at my birthday is not a foreign concept for me. Let's face it, by the time everyone rests their heads on their pillows to sleep on December 25th, they do so knowing they have survived another Christmas and the only task at hand is to start paying off the bills. So celebrating a birthday two days later? Imagine visiting your dentist for a cleaning. You've swished and spit and they're ready to remove the bib when the dentist realises there's a cavity he could quickly fill in for you while you're still there.
I still remember as a little girl, the birthday when I had to call my best friend and remind her that my party had begun. In fact, I think it was that moment that has shaped every birthday to follow. That and all the combined Christmas/Birthday gifts I had received over the years. Really?! So if my birthday was in July you would have given me a $10 wallet for my birthday?
Deep down there has been this little niggling feeling that no one wants to celebrate my birthday. It's a victimy thought, I know, but there it is!
I get it. It's a busy time and most of the time, my friends aren't even in town. There are a whole lot of factors that make celebrating my birthday with friends I love difficult, none of which have anything to do with me.
But as a small child that's all you think. When you're small, the world, at least in your head, revolves around you. So when things go badly, the obvious explanation is because you are bad. As an adult we can logic (hopefully) our way to the truth that that is not true. But kids lack that ability to rationalize. And, for many, the belief just remains.
My point brings me back to this story and what this community did for this little boy and what we need to do for all our little people AND for the little people inside of our big people who may still question their worthiness.
We are born with the need to connect - to know that we are worthy of love and belonging. When that is missed in our childhood we can spend the rest of our lives either trying to prove to the world that we are worthy - perfectionism, over achieving, pretending - or proving that we're not - addiction and other self destructive behaviors.
The truth is WE ARE ALL BORN WORTHY OF LOVE AND BELONGING! Worthiness is not based on merit So the question becomes, If I know that I am worthy of love and belonging and others in my life are too, how will it impact the way I interact in the world?
My challenge to you is to pick 5 people in your life and whether grand or small, show them that they are loved and seen. Tell me what you discover!